"Mamma said there'd be days like this" - 5 simple ways to get through them

We all have them. Days we wonder why we are here. What our purpose is.  What would happen if we just quit. Would anyone notice? Would we be happy? How much struggle is enough?

Is your struggle a relationship? a job? a health or body image concern? the loss of someone in your life? reconciling yourself with your passion? Is it simply liking yourself?

These things are all real. They sit with us and weigh us down. Sometimes they even make us sick.  If you are lucky, you notice it and feel it coming on. You sit with it and observe how it makes you act and react.  Just like injuries, some struggles are chronic and some are acute.  A struggle is basically an injury to the heart. A Samskara, an experience that gets blocked inside the heart and creates our realities is what Michael Singer in "The Untethered Soul" ˚ writes about. I have mentioned Samskaras several times in my past blogs (read more here.)  and I talk with my clients frequently about the effect they have on our lives and on our struggles.  Acute struggles come about suddenly, are very painful and sharp, but they resolve quickly.  There is a known cause or reason.  Chronic struggles, or a chronic injury to the heart, is always there. Sometimes it acts up more than other times. It is painful, but the pain comes and goes and appears to have no reason.  The pain can be dull and constant or sharp and fleeting.

If you are like me, you can't run from your struggles for long. There is nowhere to hide. The answer to ease its pain is inside of you.  Assuming we want to ease its pain.  Of course, who wouldn't want to ease pain?  But, it turns out, a lot of us like to hold on to our struggle. It gives us something to own. To talk about. For a moment, we have control over it by hanging on to it.

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 "We all have them. Days we wonder why we are here."

Here are  5 Ways to "get through those days"

#1 ~ Be true to yourself, you are enough. Write, journal and reflect.

#2 ~ Ask for help, reach out for guidance.  Instead of isolating yourself, engage with  like-minded, non-judgmental friends and community.

#3 ~ Find inspiration. What is your calm within the storm? Reading, nature, exercise, meditation or prayer, friendships, hobbies, there are all kinds of "small moment" opportunities.

 #4 ~ Own what you are feeling. Create affirmations for yourself and realize the struggle is temporary,  "This too shall pass".

 #5 ~ Picture yourself a day, a week, a month, even a year if necessary having overcome the struggle. Paint every detail of how it feels, "now that I have gotten through....(that tough time)", describe in detail to yourself what you learned, how you feel, your health, your vibrancy, your happiness factor.

The answer to ease its pain is inside of you.  What will it take to get it out? to discover the secrets of the heart? to find the keys that will unlock the pain?  It depends. What are your triggers?  To find my answers, I have to find my quiet place, my happy place, where for one moment I can feel the beat of my heart and the pulse of my blood.  The irony is that my "space" is usually in the eye of the storm.  I feel my struggle melt when I am in the midst of an intense workout, usually cycling, when suddenly, surrounded by music and breath and sweat and the unbelievable determination and commitment of others around me, I let go. I am deeply in tune with myself and the others with me and everything becomes easy. A state of flow.  The more I practice that, like anything, the better I can become at "letting go".  Of course, that is a momentary fix. But it is real and feels quite tangible.  That small moment is enough.  

It reminds me that I am enough. We are called to be so many things. Once in awhile, it is ok to be enough, just like small moments are enough!  I especially love what my coach and mentor, Todd Durkin, recently shared,

“You continue to shine light…brighter and brighter…

You be the change that you wish to see…you emulate the behavior that you expect and pass on your practice…

You give feedback with love

And you reconvene again with the same message…"

 When you think about quitting, think about why you started